Mining Bears

Today the roomies and I decided to explore Alaska (or the parts of Alaska that were made easily accessible) by going to Crow Creek Mine and the Wildlife Conservation Center. The mine was chosen because the entire thing is on the National Register of Historic Places. Sad isn't it? We actually sought it out...

And it was pretty swell!

In fact so swell some people decided to get married there!

I mean there was a wall of lost shoes, who could resist that? Not these shoes! 

And I guess we found it pretty irresistible too! All of our shoes did make it home with us though. 

It is hard to deny this place its beauty. 

However, it did not take me long to move on to the real adventure of the day. THE BEARS! I was rather excited to be reunited with my grizzly bears at the Wildlife Conservation Center. I assumed we could snuggle a little bit, do some playing, and then share stories! 

And well when we arrived, one was ready to snuggle. 

And two were ready to play! 

But it seemed our story time was lost in translation. I tried my damnedest to speak grizzly and relate to them with fierceness but to no avail. 

I did however throw them the universal sign of awesomeness and I do believe they appreciated that. 

In the end though it seemed I just wasn't grizzly enough. Perhaps if I had brought my brown fleece they would have seen me as their own. It is only a matter of time. 

But until then I suppose I should work on befriending a different animal that might not be pleased with me: the reindeer. 

Dog Days

Today was the day I popped my reindeer sausage cherry! So many ways to take that...anyway, I was rather nervous! However, I felt a lot more confident once I got over the fact I wasn't actually going to be eating any of Santa's reindeer (I mean who knows what will happen to Donner, Dasher, Blitzen, and dare I mention Rudolph when they retire). So we took our lunch break and trekked it over to the most hoppin' place in town. Oh you don't believe me?

Seriously look at that line! In fact check out a vendor 30 feet away with the same goods and price...

Ghost town. 

But we did it. We ordered a reindeer hotdog and doggonit (almost pun intended) we ate it. 

Well how did it taste? It tasted actually pretty good and I know, oh I know about these things. I have had my fair share of [exotic] sausages. 

It's a sign kid!

During my brief week spent here, I have captured some interesting things. While some of you might have seen one of them, I think you will all still enjoy. I believe these images stand alone, no supplemental stories needed!

Hiking is highly regarded in Alaska...as target practice.

No shame in this game. A personal favorite.

In the bathroom that was prohibited but I still used anyway...I mean really gotta "let the good times roll" with cats in the bathroom while pottying. 

Probably the consensus of every male in Alaska.

In case you were wondering what on earth to do! Don't worry, this is the official protocol as described by Alaskans. Good find Chels! 

What did we learn today? I am not entirely sure, however I am fairly confident I will run from bears not fight back. Or at least do that stick thing...

G'Day Sucker!

G'day!
New Zealand is the name of the game today! So to continue the tale of Talkeetna I have to take you all to the Talkeetna Lodge. The lodge is probably one of the most hoppin' places in town. So I am there with some family members including my younger cousin who shall be referenced as cousin (original I know). Cousin is the star of this story. So I was sitting on the deck eating dinner with some of my family and cousin comes with friend, who is dating cousin's sister. So cousin and friend chat with us for a bit and as they were leaving this woman calls them over. Turns out she is from New Zealand and loves to talk. So cousin and friend (and eventually cousin's sister) sit and proceed to drink with this chick from down under. Here are the happy party-goers.

In case you are curious as to what New Zealand's shirt says...

And that first line says "feed the bears." 

Anyway, so New Zealand is doing her best to flirt it up with cousin and friend or in her eyes chump and chump because after about an hour she gets up and tries to ditch the bill. Oh yes, not just the bill of the booze she drank while schmoozing but her tab from before cousin and friend sat down. This would have worked out a lot better if...#1. She didn't give her sob story of how she lost her job, was broke, and needed to save money. #2. She didn't stop and tell my uncle "what a nice boy you have." To which my uncle said, "keyword, boy." And #3. she didn't make it clear she was leaving by kissing cousin on the cheek in front of uncle while saying "cheers mate." So as New Zealand attempted to flee the scene, cousin realized what happened and doggonit, you can bet he chased her down! After capturing the female hobbit, he took her back to the bar and said pay for your tab! All the while New Zealand is going, "I'm sorry mate, I am used to being on a cruise ship where we don't have to pay." Again, that would have been a decent excuse (ok stretch on decent) if she didn't just get done describing #1. So in the end I wonder what on earth was this chick thinking? If you are going to ditch a tab on someone, do not speak to the family or make it known you are leaving, and for god's sake at least be a cougar!!! I mean she had the age down but she was not easy on the eyes. As far as I can tell she was quite representative of an actual animal native to New Zealand...the moa. What is a moa? See for yourself. 

Yes, complete with cousin and family chasing her down. 

4-legged Hot Rod

Talkeetna is basically the Eugene of Alaska. It is a small hippie community where everyone knows one another and everyone owns a dog. They also tend to walk around shirtless and shoeless (which is accepted I guess), and have signs that look like this...

And this...AMAZING!

So I end up in this little 3 block haven alone for about four hours. In this time I manage to meet Tommy and Evan, who are seriously the cool kids on the block. They know everyone and everyone knows them. But how do I meet them? Well here we go. I am sitting at a picnic bench reading "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" (fascinating! If you haven't picked it up, do so!) and this pitbull comes my way. She sits down beside me and stares. So I pet her while eating my $1.99 bag of carrots. I am really not thinking much until these two shirtless fellas Tommy and Evan come my way. Now for those interested, they had fabulous physiques, nice scruff going, and...matching Alaska tattoos. Anyway, Evan walks over and says have you met Hot Rod? To which I respond, does that pickup line usually work? Well as you can guess, instant friends. So Evan, Tommy, and Hot Rod (the pitbull) decide to take a seat and tell me all the gossip of the little town. Evan for those currently available (or want to be) is the son of the owners of the most popular cafe/restaurant in Talkeetna. You could say he is something of an Alaskan heir. Oh yeah, watch out Prince William, here comes Sir Evan. Tommy as it turns out is the son of a fisherman (in my head Sig Hansen) who has been out at sea for 7 days without contacting anyone. Interesting and sad factoid shared. Anyway Tommy was banned from the local pub and the night before was the first time he was officially allowed back in the establishment. It seems his banishment would have ended sooner but he kept sneaking in. Now how you can think you can sneak into a bar the size of 16 Tons for those of you from Oregon, Caffreys for you Milwaukee kids, Swilligans for Rockford, and Simons or the front part of the Schoolyard for you Chicago chumps I have no idea. Therefore in celebration of finally his bar liberation, they all got plastered. So plastered in fact one of their friends drove her car into a popular beer garden. The car of which was still there. Evan, Tommy, and Hot Rod took me over there and well that car did one heck of a number. The rear was sticking out and the windshield was cracked. The tables in the beer garden were all mangled and I was rather surprised the structure was still standing. As we were there the cops came so we bolted away right quick. Well then after some time the inevitable happens, my phone number is requested. To which I respond, I will not be here aside from today. So I get told if I am ever in town I need to hang out with them and I am always welcome. I agree to take them up on the offer of drinks if I am ever there another time but only if Hot Rod joins. I instantly pause and question myself for saying that but after checking out these fellas one last time and giving out some high fives I take my leave with my book, left over bag of carrots, and my hope that perhaps I can see those matching Alaska tattoos another time.

The plane wasn't the only thing flying...

So here I am again with a story  (I have to catch you all up)! There are a few to get up here. Anyway, I had a brief layover in Seattle and hopped on the plane to Anchorage. So below is the set up for the incident that was about to occur.

Alright I hope you are all well acquainted with the layout and nicknames. Now we board the plane and the moment we get to the cruising altitude, I run to the restroom. No not became I was drinking booze, I was all sorts hopped up on caffeine. I get out of the restroom and Teddy Bear girl, whose teddy bear looked like this (and probably should have looked like this)...

however, she looked like this...

Although, she was around 26. Ok so Teddy Bear girl had vomited. The crew came running to the rescue in their hazmat suits with bags that seriously said destroy, hazardous waste! Now apparently, she was able project her goods into a bag (so she claimed later), so none reached the seat. However, it smelled terrible. So she vomits a couple more times in the bag and then runs to the restroom. Whipped and Innocent Bystander (I.B.) are chilling in the aisle for a while waiting for Teddy Bear girl to get back. After a couple of mins they sit back down. And then she emerges in full glory. Puke bag in hand (size of a garbage bag), she reaches over Innocent Bystander and taps Whipped on the shoulder. Meanwhile I have recessed so far back into our row, I am on top of Housewife of California for fear the bag will swing and touch me. So Teddy Bear girl tapped Whipped and goes "ask I.B. if we can change seats." And Whipped looks at I.B. and I.B. is like really, I am right here!? So Whipped goes "hey man, do you ahh mind switching seats, I mean she might have to vomit again and well it makes sense. I.B. again is like really? Come on man! And Whipped is like oh come on, she made it all in a bag. So I.B. sits there in disbelief and the Housewives of California and I are like no, no, no, don't do it! So I.B. says ok and moves and sits down in "the incident" seat. And the moment he sits, Teddy Bear girl goes "hey, hey, hey all my stuff is there! You are sitting on my shoes and my sweater!" She flips. Whipped grabs her stuff and hands it to her (including the bear). She sits down all disgruntled like the world is out to get her. Then, THEN...Whipped, well Whipped kisses her on the lips!! Just had a date with the toilet and he got ALL of that. So the Housewives and I are disgusted and shocked. So I whisper to Housewife of California, "wow, that is some true love!" Her response, "it...is...something..." and I couldn't agree more. 

But in the end it wasn't all bad...I mean we were given extra drinks and a pity party since we were near Teddy Bear girl. And a party is a party. 

Goodbye! Love, Portland

Hopefully, many of you know that I have hit the high sails and found myself in Alaska for the summer. If you didn't know, surprise Alaska! Yes, Alaska...where I can wear sweatshirts year round! Perfect right? Anyway in case you were unaware of the layout of Alaska, I have attached a map pointing out the most important features.

So I landed here on Wednesday but not without some stories. Some of you heard the send off I received in Portland but if not, let me explain. Sitting in the Portland airport I was on the phone discussing my summer situation and the woman next to me overheard me speaking about going to Alaska. So after I hang up the phone, she strikes up a conversation about the good ole AK. Asks me about school, what I am doing, my major, etc...Being nice, I say so what do you do?

Her response, "I grow pot." Me: Oh? Hmmm medicinal? Her: No, for dealers. Me: oh even better (while thinking to myself: this is insane) Her: Yeah, I'm going to California for it Me: Well that's a good market Her: I have to get through school somehow...I am getting my Masters in education Me: Speciality? Age? (thinking: sweet jesus) Her: Elementary Me: that's a good age (thinking: what the hell?) Her: I am usually not so open about this but I just got off a red- eye from Hawaii and don't give a fuck anymore Me: Well that's alright Her: Yeah so what do I say when I have to write a resume and say what I have been doing for the past 2 years? Me: Hanging out in the business world? Self-starter? Her: Right!? So you need pot? Me: Hmmm I think I am good for now, but thanks. Her: I'm kidding Me: Oh Then she puts on her headphones and pops in 30 rock. 

My only regret about this conversation is that I didn't say yes, so I could see where she was going to pull out some pot from. My hope was she would have had to go to the restroom. Thank you Oregon for such a fitting goodbye.